Why does a healthy self-esteem matter – Not just for kids and teenagers but for all of us?
Self-esteem is how we value, how we see ourselves – thoughts, feelings, and opinions. It affects nearly every part of our lives – our trust in others, our relationships and our work.
Healthy self-esteem makes us able to cope with life’s ups and downs, we tend to feel positive about ourselves and life in general.
Low self-esteem results in seeing ourselves in a negative and critical way. If it becomes a long-term problem it makes us less able to cope and deal with challenges in life and it has a harmful effect on our mental health.
Signs and Characteristics
Social withdrawal, tolerating abusive relationships and situations, anxiety, eating disorders, emotional turmoil, falling short of your goals or/and potential and depression are characteristics of genuinely low self-esteem. Opposite, too much self-esteem(self-love) results in a sense of entitlement and inability to learn from ones errors and failures. (Also it can be a sign of clinical narcissism-pathology of narcissism.)
Self-esteem isn’t fixed, it can change.
Here is our insight and best techniques on how to improve self-esteem and find a balance:
Recognize and tame your inner critic.
Do you offer a solution to a problem or are you making a problem out of every solution? Would you talk to a best friend like that? A harsh, critical inner voice can bring you down and it’s time to change that way.
What you can change and what you can’t – Recognize it.
There are things you can change and things you cannot change therefore, dwelling on things that are beyond your power to do any change will only result in waste of time and energy. Hence, trying to control the uncontrollable is not an option.
Stop fearing failure – Aim for progress rather than perfection.
Your own pressure to be perfect will always hold you back, hence focus and think of mistakes as learning opportunity, not as errors. It’s part of the learning process.
Stop comparing yourself to others – Edit your thoughts of inferiority.
Remember, everyone excels at different things and everybody has their own pace. Cheer on others for their success and focus on what you do well.
Experiment – try new things, and give yourself some credit.
Find your talent and take pride in your new skills. Experiment with different activities. You grow when things are difficult and complicated, you grow when you embrace your challenges therefore don’t be scared.
Decide – Set goals.
First of all, think about what you’d like to accomplish. Make a plan for it and a plan how to do it. Keep track of your progress and stick with your plan. Train your mind to remind you of what you are doing and what you aim to achieve and never be afraid to voice your opinion and idea.
Avoid negative people.
Spend time with the people you care about, people who make you feel good. Avoid being surrounded by negative people who always put your down. Remember, a happy, self-confident person does not put others down.
Be active – Exercise.
You’ll relieve stress, and you’ll be healthier. Relax and have fun. Only you can make yourself feel better. It’s not anyone’s job to make you feel good about yourself. It can only come from you.
We’re all born with infinite potential. Thinking we are anything less is a belief, a false belief, we mostly get in life.
Feel free to share your experience, ups and downs, what has worked for you to improve your self esteem.